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 10 things to do with an old resume

when I was senior pastor at fellowship community we advertised a position on the internet, and we were hit with an enormous amount of resumes.  we were lost in the flood, it was overwhelming.  recently, I found myself on the other end of the stick - I was sending resumes out to different churches who were looking for a senior pastor.  most of the time I would receive no reply (that's a subject of another paper).  but when I did I was told that they received a flood of resumes, I believe it 100%.  so, today I decided to add this little number I put together when I was senior pastor at the point in chicago - I call it "10 things to do with old resumes."

1. have a giant party and invite guests to fold their own party hats - this is a fun activity, baring any nasty paper cuts (they can really hurt).

2. sponsor a "Man in Black Origami" contest and encourage people to create their own "paper alien life forms."  this can be great fun, discourage the use of green paint - that's just too common place.

3. make paper airplane and throw them around the church during worship, it will inspires the children and excite the adults. 

4. send copies to other churches, explain that they need to make seven copies and mail them to other churches, make sure you let them all know that this is not a "chain resume."

5. put them through a paper shredder.  stand on the roof of any small building (think safety first) and have children walk under as you and pretend to have a ticket-tape parade - for an added touch you can have the children dress in costumes, and get others in the church involved (it looks silly if your standing on the roof by yourself throwing paper at children - people will question you sanity).

6. mix shredded resumes with papier-mâché paste and, depending on the amount, create a statue - make the topic of the statue a congregational contest; like "your favorite Bible Character" or "Small Fish You Know and Love" or (my personal favorite) "Baltic States after the break-up of the United Soviet Socialist Republic - USSR."

7. tape all the paper to your body and run through town shouting - "I AM PAPER MAN - THE DEFENDER OF RECYCLING" - keeping in mind, this might get you arrested, but on the bright side you will get the attention of your neighbors - could possibly be an outreach to the community, get a number of people from the church together - think about it!!!

8. pretend you are one of the members of the Blue Man Group - www.blueman.com - and roll the paper into tubs, and other musical instruments - get creative, think out of the box - and invite friends to a open air concert; don't forget to paint yourself blue - making sure not to violate any trademark agreements.

9. save all the resumes and at the next "staff and elders retreat" use the paper as a "paper fight" between the staff and the elders - this will help relieve tension and who knows, you may just find the next Nolan Ryan.

10. recycle, while this option is less creative, it is very functional.

john o'keefe