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Things I noticed this week:

This week was an enlightening week for me.  It was one of those weeks where you pick up a vast array of knowledge and know your life will be better, or at least the rash will go away.  Here is a list of the things I learned this week, and a short explanation of how it all comes together.

Fish make crummy pets:  this was a hard lesson for me to learn, but an important one to learn never the less.  I purchased some gold fish, thinking they would make great pets, but it was all for nothing.  I tried to take one out for a walk, and all it did was flop around and it finally died.  The other one, I thought it must have been the leash, I tried to play Frisbee with, but no matter how soft I tossed the Frisbee is just would not catch it and it too died.  I could not believe it, I spent good money on these little things and they could not do a simple thing like going for a walk or catch a Frisbee. They were pretty much useless.

Books on theology are bigger then the bible:  this amazed me.  I was looking at a book on theology and I was amazed that it was three times the size of my bible.  How can a book on theology be bigger then the theology?  This was confusing, until I started to read it – then I realized how that could happen.  Humans like to think they have all the answers, and they are impressed with their own voice and ideas.  So, being self-impressed, they like to publish what they write thinking it’s important – and it never is important.

Microwave time is not of this continuum:  no one will ever prove me wrong with this reality.  To cook microwave popcorn it says it takes “3 minutes.”  Put the bag in, turn the dial to three minutes and in 20 minutes you have popcorn.  How? You may ask.  Living in this reality, 3 minutes is 3 minutes; living in another reality 3 minutes is 20 minutes.  My concern, where does the popcorn go for that extra 17 minutes?  What alien life form has taken over our microwaves and abducted our popcorn, and what hideous experiments are those blobbed life forms doing to our food.  Some may say that “nothing is wrong” – but, can we trust them?  Are they part of an alien race sent to destroy us via our popcorn consumption?  Interesting, I know – think about it.

Strange hairs appear out of thin air:  now, I will admit this could be connected to the popcorn thing, but I have no proof.  Ever notice that sometimes you will find strange hairs in your house?  Today I found a long blonde hair in my bathroom – and, being a punk monkey, I do not have long blonde hair.  This got me thinking, how did that hair get in my restroom?  I don’t have friends with long blond hair. Nor ones who frequently shower at my house.  To me, this is proof that human life was formed from hair – only to grow the rest of the body later – or is it human life at all?  This even brings to life another important issue.  If all life formed from a human hair, humans who are going bald are actually reproducing at an alarming rate – the idea brings shivers to my spine, and one questions – popcorn anyone?

The Cheer commercial:  I was watching the Cheer commercial, the one where the boy goes to school and the other “cooler” kids say – “guess he has not heard of the faded look?” – then the kid goes home and spends all day washing his jeans, and they never fade.  I wonder, is there a need to purchase a product that does not do what you need it to do?  Because, in all reality, all humans really want, is to be cool.  There is possibly another connection around the whole “popcorn scandal”.  Yet another thing to think about.  Interesting…..

PuNk mOnKEy -