ON.THEOLOGY
What’s It All About?
By Chuck Scott
“All the crazies are out tonight.”
thought Officer Smith. Smith had just finished the final bit of paperwork on the
last arrest. She was a 37 year old woman that had been shooting a gun out of the
front door of her 17th floor apartment.. She thought she was shooting at a dog
eating out of her garbage. She was shooting at a water fountain. What provoked
the call wasn’t the initial shot; it was a neighbor nearest the fountain, who,
when investigating the source of water entering his front door, almost got hit
with a bullet.
Smith picked up the phone and called the crisis counselor on duty. After that
he went back to his busy work-- Channel surfing. As usual there were only 150
channels of nothing to choose from..
At that moment his life felt unfulfilled.. Cable TV has a way of doing that.
Zip, Rickki Lake appears on the screen. The topic: “I secretly want to live in
a trailer park, and can’t tell my spouse.”
Zip, Star Trek.
Zip, Star Trek, The Next Generation.
Zip, Madame Cleo.
Zip, Smith shut it off.
** note** From now on everyone shall refer to the remote control as, the “
Zipper”.. We shall add it to next years lexicon.. I will receive the copyright
and will make ½ cent for each time someone says, “zipper.”
“Smith looked up at the clock. 2:58, roughly 4 more hours
left.----Great!--- The station door opened. It startled Smith. He looked up at
the clock. 3:45, must’ve fallen asleep.
“Can I help you?” He asked.
The man walked up to the desk, sat down, never once looking Smith in the
face. “I have a confession to make.”
Smith grabbed a pad of paper and pen, “Ok, what is it?”
“Well, I, umm, well,” the man paused. He was clearly confused, or
distraught, “ I’m a criminal.” he stated in a muffled voice.
“You’re a what?” Smith asked.
“I am a criminal!!!”
“Well from my point of view, you’re in the right place. What’s your
name?” This was great, Smith finally had something better to do.
“Mark Jones. Actually it’s Marcus Jones. I’m 34, I live at 134 w. 63rd
St. .”
“Ok Mr. Jones, what kind of criminal are you?”
“No particular kind of criminal; just a criminal.” This was going nowhere
fast.
“Maybe we could start with what crime you have committed.”
“I don’t know, really. You see I am prone to blackouts and do things that
I don’t remember doing.”
“ Well, I can’t do anything unless I have some sort of evidence. You
know, a crime.”
Marcus looked at him for a moment, then stated, “I took a pack of baseball
cards from the 7-11 on 16th St.”
“What? That store closed almost 20 years ago.. You would have been 4!!!”
“But I’m a criminal !!!”
“There’s a statute of limitations!!!!”
“I am a criminal!!!”
“And I am a cop. Until I see or hear of you doing something illegal, I
can’t do anything. Good night!!!”
Marcus got up and left the station. Smith picked up the zipper (cha
ching)
and turned the TV back on. Zip, Zip, Zip, back to Rikki Lake … 10 more minute
of mindless banter. “All the crazies are out tonight.” thought Smith.
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As with Marcus, we can’t just say we are sinners (or criminals). We must know
we are sinners.
When Marcus said that he was prone to blackouts and therefore
couldn’t recall any particular crime was a lie. Marcus is more prone to copout
than blackout. --Most of us are.-- It is a form of protection that we learn
early in life and permeates our culture through media. One only needs to listen
the recent song by Shaggy (the singer not the toon) who skillfully writes the
hook ( a lyrical form of brainwashing) “it wasn’t me” into the song.
We go through life using those exact words, “It wasn’t me,” knowing
very well it was. Lying to people who may never find out. Lying to God who
already knows.
He just wants us to know. He wants us to know and repent. It is true that we
need to confess. It is also true that we need to know our crimes.
Confession is not done by some generic, scripted prayer for mass salvation.
Confession is done between the individual and God. It is owning up to our sin,
taking responsibility and doing something about it.
That’s called repentance.
That’s what it’s all about.
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