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I think
I'm
pregnant and I hope I am!
by
Ernie Garcia
Not
too long ago after a Wednesday night youth service I was approached by a young
girl who wanted to talk to me about a situation going on in her life. Not
knowing or having any idea at all what I was about to hear I invited her to walk
to the other side of the room where the rest of our group was hanging out.
As
we sat on the steps of the stage at our church facility I asked her so what's up?
Without any hesitation at all she answered I think IBM pregnant and I hope I am.
The
I think I am pregnant part is every young youth pastors nightmare and I don't say
this for any other reason but that she is only 14 years old and has no idea what
a tremendous responsibility it is to be a parent. But the I hope I am part
surprised me a little.
Before
our youth session had ended this night I had noticed her and our senior pastors
wife walking in to a room in the back but I paid little attention to them.
After
the initial surprise that this young girl hoped she was pregnant I expressed to
her that I wasn't going state my opinion on this issue unless she asked what I
thought. I also told her that I wasn't surprised and that this wasn't the first
time that I had talked to a young person about this since I've been in ministry.
Sharing with her why sex outside of marriage is a sin is something that she had
heard many times so I didn't feel the need to beat her up with that as I was
confident that she understood.
She
told me that our senior pastors wife had really laid into her about being too
young and having sex. I think I would finally be happy if I had a baby she said.
I asked her if the guy she was hanging out with was alright with all of this and
she said he was.
I
knew it would be real unbeneficial if I lectured her, because she mentioned that
everyone had already yelled and screamed and called her names. Its funny because
I think people were responding like this out retaliation for what they were
feeling inside of themselves. Instead of realizing that this girl is a little
confused and has no idea what she might be getting herself into they responded
as if they could re- program her ideas and feelings by telling her how stupid
she was.
I
don't know a lot of things but I do know this sometimes its better to get on base
than to try for a home run every time you get up to the plate. I think a lot of
the people that were lecturing this girl were trying to hit the homerun; they
were trying to fix something in 30 minutes that took years and years to
establish. This gal didn't think up all these ideas in one afternoon and neither
will she sort them out in one discussion.
I've
wondered since if I did the right thing by just listening to her. I've come to
this conclusion; I feel in my heart that I did do the right thing because the
trust and credibility needed to impact her life are going to take time to
establish. Ultimately its God and the revelation of His love that changes and
transforms our thinking anyway, not fancy advice or lectures. So with that being
said I know that God is the one with the mission and we are just blessed and get
to come along for the ride if we chose to.
I
wish I could tell you that she came back and we worked together through her
issues but I cant. I have not seen her since. I did hear that she didn't end up
being pregnant, but I really wish we could have encouraged her and loved her
more. I believe that we have to learn to be people that others who are hurting
can feel safe being around, we must learn to embrace each other in spite of
circumstances and truly show folks that we will be there to walk beside them no
matter what kind of crap they are going through.
_____________________
Ernie Garcia 31,is the youth pastor of high youth ministries in Boone Co. He
resides in Pueblo Colorado with his wife Francine and his daughter Sloan. High
youth is a ministry of the Arkansas Valley Vineyard Church. E-Mail highyouthmin@aol.com
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