Maybe it's time to stop bullshitting God by Christine Goertzen

I love listening to other people.  I want to hear their journey, what got them here, why they stay and what they feel their 'purpose' is.  We have heard it so many times.  We are on a journey.  Maybe it's more like an amusement ride.  It's freaky, fun, scary and at times you want to blow chunks because of the twists and turns.  What keeps us on the ride?  What keeps us getting on and strapping ourselves in?  Come on, we have all been there.  We all know they nagging questions that we are faced with on a daily basis.

 
I sat in my living room with a friend the other night.  She is truly a person on a journey.  She loves God, she hates the system/institution she has seen.  She hates conformity and strives for individuality.  She has dreams and aspirations.....but is afraid like most of us.  She has been through pain and discouragement like all of us.  Yet, I saw something different in her this time when I visited with her.  I asked what the difference was.  Why was she still on the 'ride'?  What had changed?  Why did she seem more comfortable in her own skin? Why did she seem so peaceful? I finally got her to spill the beans.  "I stopped bullshitting God." she exclaimed.  I burst out into laughing.  I knew EXACTLY what she meant.  She explained how she finally just decided to be herself with God, not pretend, not strive to be something she wasn't.  She decided to enjoy the ride.  She chose to embrace her process, so to speak.  She had been taught 'how' she 'should' act, 'what' she 'should' say...........but none of it fit her.  None of it fit who she essentially was.  So, now she is at peace with the fact that she can be herself.............and it's okay.  It's really truly okay.  Getting back on the roller coaster was okay now.  She knew that she wasn't going to fall out.  Basically, she had become comfortable in her own skin.  She isn't afraid for God to see her in her 'ugliness' - He thinks she is beautiful.

 
She stopped 'Bullshitting' God'.................how completely profound.  Sorry, if I offend you.  But, I found her statement enlightening.  She admitted she stopped dishing out what she thought God wanted to hear and see.  But, instead just offered herself up.  Selah.  Now her journey/ride has truly begun.  It's just her and God.  Nothing fancy.  No pretense.  It has become real for her.

 
Isn't that what we all want?  Something real with no pretense.  A reason to keep getting on the ride.   You can only pretend for so long.  After a while, it gets pretty lame.

 
I will never forget the story my husband told me. He is one of the most 'real' people I know.  He truly has the most amazing journey with God I have ever seen. We had just made a huge move across the country.  He had to switch jobs and the only thing he could do on such short notice was to work in a lumber mill for a couple of months.  Now, if ANYONE out there has ever worked in a lumber mill, you'll know exactly what I mean when I say it's the hardest job you could ever have.  He broke every finger on both hands, had a timber knock him out, etc...and he lived off Advil for the first 3 weeks.  I would watch him literally crawl over the threshold of the door when he would get home. He told me He was so mad at God.  He couldn't understand why God had him at this job.........after all, we had already been through so much.  We moved because God told us too.  Now he was at a crumby job that caused him a lot of physical pain.  He said he stood in the mill on his night shift and swore at God at the top of his voice.  Now, it's too noisy in the mill so no one could hear him........except for God.   He said an amazing thing happened.  He felt God overwhelm him with such love and compassion for his situation that he repented on the spot for being such a moron.  He told me 'God wasn't offended, He's too secure in Himself for that.  But he appreciated me being so real with Him'.  wow.

 
I am not advocated swearing to God.  I am making a point.  I have learned and am learning to be real with God.  I don't want to give Him religious script.  I want to be vulnerable.  I want Him to know me and I want to let myself be known.  I want to be real.  I want to be comfortable with being real.  I need to know that I am alright and it's going to be okay.  It's like a when we first meet 'the one' that we want to spend the rest of our lives with.  We say all the right things, do all the right things, dress just right, smell just right and the list goes on.  Well, eventually they will see that you don't look absolutely fab when you wake up in the morning, you do have bad breath at times and yes, you get gas like everyone else.  There is a time when 'reality' slaps you in the face.  It can be like that with God.  We want to put on a bit of a show.  But, sooner or later it's got to get real.

 
I have decided to stop B.S-ing God in certain areas of my life.  This has got to be a ride that I enjoy to the fullest.  No matter what twists and turns it takes.  I can only enjoy it if I am being myself and comfortable in my own skin.  I can only enjoy it if I truly know that it's okay for me to be real.  God's okay with that.  I think we would be surprised to know that He likes it that way.

BTW, the happy ending to the lumber mill story.................he got an awesome job a couple of months later and loves it.  No more broken fingers.

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