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Empty
Hands
by
Jody Sneed
If
I could fly
from all the pain and the fear
tell me why
why would I be standing here
“Superman” Luna
Halo
Why
am I standing here?
How’d I get into this new mindset,
philosophy, and perpetual funk over following
Christ…the postmodernism thing?
There were several factors:
-
Leading
the overhaul of the church’s mid-week youth
gathering and facing stiff opposition from the
establishment over doing things differently
-
Rejoicing
in attendance that was up three and four times…mostly
kids that wouldn’t set foot in a Sunday
school class
-
Being
totally convicted by a Discipleship Journal
survey of 20-30 year olds detailing how the
church wasn’t reaching them and how they
were serving Christ anyway
-
Checking
out some websites mentioned in the same
article (Yep, this is one of them)
-
Facing
a major conflict with pastoral leadership and
the church establishment and having nowhere to
turn when politics overwhelmed ministry
-
Becoming
involved in an interdenominational ministry
designed to bring you into a closer
relationship with Christ, despite all the
religious roadblocks our churches put in the
way
Hey,
I am Joe Church.
A Promise Keeper, a teacher and deacon.
On various committees, as is my wife.
Sons in the choir and church-league
basketball and we ate at the same place with all
the other Joe Church families on Sunday evenings.
My relationship with the Lord was growing…but
through the other ministries, not from the local
church.
And the way I was leading there was being
questioned at every turn because “we haven’t
ever done it that way”.
Reaching more pagans wasn’t the point…I
guess because it wasn’t the idea of one of the
pillars of the church.
Forgot
a factor: books.
I’d been reading more of them than the
Scripture but they were driving me back to the
Gospels and the words and actions of Christ.
Larry Crabb’s Inside/Out, Brennan
Manning’s Ragamuffin Gospel, Phillip
Yancy's What's So Amazing About Grace, John
Ortberg’s If You Want to Walk on Water, You
Have to Get out of the Boat, Rebecca Piperts’ Out of the Saltshaker and into Life…all
these pointed to a lifestyle of evangelism, faith
and trust that was contrary to what the
contemporary church was working toward.
How
could it be contrary to the church…it’s all
Christianity, isn’t it?
Same
Jesus, different motivator. I wanted the Jesus that taught and healed, spoke with love
and force and conviction of sin and the promise of
abundant life.
But the church’s motivation is in the
maintenance of the institution through incessant
programming, leadership taking comfort in the
status quo and the building of a saint’s country
club that is becoming increasingly irrelevant to
the majority of families with no religious
experience or knowledge.
In
the midst of these issues and my cry for Christ's
guidance, I remember sitting a large group with
the students and the question came to my mind:
“Would you give this up for Me?”
On
one hand I saw the growing attendance numbers and
on the other I heard all the complaints about the
process to get there.
Less sage on the stage and more small group
discussions over the topics.
More student leadership in the teaching and
planning. More current and relevant issues than the standard
devotional. Battles
ensued over everything but the toppings on the
pizza.
I
could walk away based on the strife but stubbornly
wouldn’t. This
was my project, mind you.
I guess I should mention the trial balloons
we were floating…all these changes came from a
small group that kept coming back to each other
with ideas, only to have the rest of the group
confirm them in a multiplicity of ways.
When the confirmations started happening at
work and other places…we knew we were onto
something, something radically different, and with
the first moves we had taken, results were
happening.
How
could I give it up?
David knew God wanted a temple and Moses
knew the people needed water and both knew how to
make these things happen.
We
just forgot to bring Him along in the process.
As Brennan Manning wrote what his spiritual
director told him in Restless Trust:
“You’ve got enough insights to last you
three hundred years.
The most urgent need in your life is to
trust what you have received.”
With
all the strife, I had been hedging on returning to
teaching with the new school year.
My comments about the leadership, the
establishment and a better way of doing things led
my wife to be as succinct as Manning’s mentor.
“Are
you called to teach that class?”
Yes, I admitted with a cringe, knowing
where this was heading.
“Are you called to leave the church?”
No. “Those
kids deserve the best teacher they can get, right?”
Yes.
“Then do the right thing and follow your
calling.”
‘Nuff
said.
The
perpetual funk…it’s coming from the
realization that without an internal change to
leave the status quo for a higher level of trust
– and resulting activity – I am part of the
problem, a very whitewashed tomb.
When
the conflicts arose, I was shaken in my belief.
Will I do church or be the church?
Is it about what we can do at the facility
or about our facility to do anything apart from
the Father? Personally,
I tried to be a reformer at too many levels, when
my calling was with a small group of high school
seniors.
Christ
didn’t come to change institutions…He changed
hearts. Mine
is stubborn to that realization as I let other
issues crowd my view of Him.
I become
manic about fixing things when I should be
praying and paying attention to the ones I love
and those He has called me to love.
I need to know how Jesus met people at
their point of need. And then do it.
Maybe
it’s not so much about bring Jesus along in the
process as it is in catching up to Him…
I
can't be everything
But I know the One who can
Although I tried to be
You were left with empty hands
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