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a trip to the
mall
I
was sitting in the mall the other day when I noticed
some very interesting things:
-
there
is a exponential relationship between your
age, and being colored blind - i
was amazed at the number of older people
who seem to have lost the ability to
tell what color goes with what
colors. i know styles have changed
from the sixties, but did colors change
too?
-
a child screaming has a direct impact on the time/space continuum
- as i was walking along, a shriek
came from across the mall - the air
moved, i could see the sound vibrate the
air as if i was in a matrix movie (the first
one, the other two bit). as the
sound approached, i closed my eyes, and
covered my ears. as the wave
pasted, i noticed i lost one hour of
time.
-
cloning has been around for years -
i have no idea what the hubbub about
cloning is. we have been doing it
for years. next time you are in
the mall notice that all teens look alike
- and it you are a teen, notice that all
older people look alike - freaky
-
no matter when you arrive, parking is impossible
- enough said
-
handicap people do not shop when you do -
ever notice that when you are parking,
the handicap spots are never being
used? or if they are being used,
they are being used by some 30 year old
guy who is using his mother car.
-
very large, hairy men should not wear "wife-beaters" -
heck, that should be a law.
-
very large women should not wear spandex
- right after the "large hairy man
act of 2005" we need to create a
"large spandex women act of
2005" - and please, over 40, large
women - no "midriff" showing -
gross.
-
dogs can not tell the difference between a fake tree and a real tree
- this was just freaky. i was
sitting on the bench, eating my
"dots" when this guy walked by
with his dog (they have a vet in the
mall) and the dog pissed on the fake
tree. i looked at the guy and he
just thought it was funny, and he walked
away.
-
the longer a man is married, the more likely he is to be a "pack horse" on a shopping trip
- i saw a married couple and the guy was
carrying everything - from her purse, to
about 15 packages.
-
people who sit on the benches need to remember they are being watched
- nose pickers, butt scratches and
"male private" movers - you
are in a public space - please.
while I do
have more, they will come in time. also, we will be listing
"social observations" from the pool, the bus and other places
coming soon
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