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The Church of the Self-Righteous

by Mark Mason 

Last night I went to the theater and saw The Chronicles of Narnia. Not only did I go to movies, but I went to see a movie with the word “witch” in the title. This act against the Church of the Self Righteousness is punishable by crucifixion should they discover my crimes. 

I’m speaking of the church to which I used to belong and still occasionally affiliate with. The church that doesn’t smoke, chew or hang out with people that do.  It’s not just a church that forbids it’s women to wear slacks, make-up or jewelry, much less occupy a pulpit. It’s not just the church that doesn’t believe in going to the beach, the bowling alley or the billiard hall. The Church of the Self Righteous also pickets and petitions everything from Walt Disney to Wal-Mart in hopes of legislating matters of the heart. They make a lot of good points and I often agree with their premise. Their bandwagon is an attractive one. I mean, we’re all looking for something to be passionate about right? So why not be passionate about stomping out wickedness and conquering evil villains like the homosexuals and liberals. Yes, this kind of quest seems to bring definition and purpose to the great battle we are in. 

Should the Church of the Self Righteous discover my high treason I’m sure they shall prepare a cross for me along side the hippie, the whore and the homeless; the killer, the queer, and the criminal..... and did I mention the Carpenter.

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